The entertainment community continues to reflect on the loss of Michelle Trachtenberg, who passed away on February 26 at the age of 39. Best known for her memorable roles as the clever Harriet in Harriet the Spy (1996) and the resilient Dawn Summers in Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Trachtenberg’s death has inspired a wave of tributes from those who knew her best. Among the most poignant is an essay by Mara Wilson, the Matilda star, recently published in Vulture, where she looks back on their friendship and the unexpected hardships Trachtenberg endured as a young actress.
Wilson and Trachtenberg first crossed paths in the 1990s as rising talents in Hollywood, bonding quickly over their shared experiences as child actors. Both starred in iconic family films released in 1996—Wilson as the precocious Matilda Wormwood and Trachtenberg as the inquisitive Harriet M. Welsch. In her essay, Wilson remembers Trachtenberg as more than just a friendly face. “Not only was she nice, I realized, but she was remarkably intelligent,” Wilson wrote. “Yet she managed not to be condescending and didn’t try to impress with big words, the way other kids (including me) might have. She was smart, but she was also self-possessed, and didn’t need to show off.”
Their friendship deepened when they later attended the same middle school in Los Angeles. It was there, Wilson recounts, that Trachtenberg revealed a painful side of her life. One day, the actress pulled Wilson aside, tears streaming down her face, and asked, “Are the kids here mean to you?” Before Wilson could fully respond, Trachtenberg continued, “Because they are to me… They call me Harriet the Slut, Harriet the B—-, Harriet the B—-y Spy… and so much worse. They never stop.” For Wilson, who had “never seen Michelle cry before,” the moment was a stark revelation about the toll of fame on her friend.
Despite Trachtenberg’s warmth and charm—qualities that won over castmates and fans alike—Wilson notes that her classmate’s reputation at school was unfairly tarnished. “Every time I even heard someone say ‘Michelle Trachtenberg,’ a kid would jump in to say that they’d heard she was mean, full of herself, a total b—-,” Wilson recalled. She often found herself defending Trachtenberg, insisting, “She’s not… she’s really nice!” The disconnect between the rumors and the person Wilson knew left her grappling with the “cruel irony” of their profession: “So much of being a child actor is about making everyone happy. It felt cruelly ironic to be so hated when our raison d’être was getting people to like us.”
Trachtenberg herself was candid about these struggles in later years. In a poignant Instagram post from Valentine’s Day 2020, she reflected on her childhood, sharing a photo from her Harriet the Spy days. “Back in my day all the kids had to write a bulls— Valentine’s Day card to everyone in the class,” she wrote. “I never got one on purpose, everyone got a valentine card. No one ever gave me one and they thought I didn’t need the attention. The kids and staff all laughed and thought everyone else should get one, being an actress since I was 3, apparently I didn’t need one.” She went on to detail the physical and emotional scars left by bullying, including being “thrown down stairs and slammed into lockers head first.” Yet, in true Trachtenberg fashion, she turned her pain into a message of resilience: “There is no need to harp on the past… I write this to every child, teen, person, out there who is bullied. You are something.”
Following her passing, tributes poured in from Trachtenberg’s Buffy and Gossip Girl co-stars. Sarah Michelle Gellar, who played her on-screen sister, shared an emotional quote from a scene they filmed together, while Blake Lively praised her as “fiercely loyal to her friends and brave for those she loved.” For Wilson, the loss carries a personal sting. “I always thought I would get the chance to see her again, to tell her how much I’d always looked up to her,” she wrote. “To tell her the times we spent together as children were some of the best of my life.”
Trachtenberg’s story, as told through Wilson’s lens in her Vulture essay, serves as a sobering reminder of the hidden struggles behind the spotlight. Beneath the glamour of her celebrated roles lay a young woman navigating the harsh realities of fame, determined to rise above the cruelty she faced. Her legacy, both onscreen and off, endures as one of intelligence, kindness, and unyielding spirit.
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